


This has happened to me

by EpiKatt



Series: IronStrange Week 2019 [6]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Depression, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, M/M, Sadness, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, aftermath of Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 15:29:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18968059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EpiKatt/pseuds/EpiKatt
Summary: Tony's dead.





	This has happened to me

**Author's Note:**

> Ironstrange prompt #6, Saturday.  
> Grief. 
> 
> This one's a lil sad :(

Stephen stares into space while at the funeral.

 

The funeral itself was lovely, good food, good people, good weather. The fact it was a funeral though made it not so good. 

 

So he stares and tries to ignore the  _ things  _ happening in his head. His mind splitting at the seams all the while keeping a straight face.

 

Being in the soul stone, (im)patiently waiting for the Avengers, longing for a man he couldn't have, responsibility sitting heavy on his shoulders to make sure everyone was alright. Most especially Peter Parker.

 

So when it's his turn to speak and he goes up, it takes all he has to not start crying. His fractured thoughts can't handle the pitying looks from those who knew, or the judgmental ones for blaming him in Tony's death. They weren't wrong.

 

He clears his throat. Puts on a strong face. Squares his shoulders. 

 

"Tony was a good man, he wasn't great, for no one truly is with their faults. But neither was he a bad man, because he tried too hard to be his best.

 

"Tony was a good husband," he barely chokes that out, "and a fantastic father. Morgan is a wonderful little girl."

 

He pauses, shifting uncomfortably, the sun soaking through his black suit. "I know many of you blame me for his death. Which is- fair. I blame myself too. But it  _ was  _ the only way, I never lied. So please, just know I did what anyone would have done for the greater good. That.. that's all I have to say," He finishes, stepping down and walking away briskly, knowing people are staring at him.

 

Stephen goes inside, where less people and the a/c are. He sees Morgan sitting on the couch with Happy. Stephen hesitantly walks over, crouching in front of her and stifling a groan as his knees pop.

 

"Hello, Morgan. I'm Stephen Strange. A… friend of your fathers."

 

Morgan looks up at him and tilts her head. "Hello Mister Stephen. Daddy did talk about you sometimes, when mommy was asleep," She says to him boldly.

 

"Is that so? What lies did he feed you?" He replies, deigning to ignore the 'mister'.

 

"Well.. he said that you were super duper smart, and tall. Very tall. And that you were sad. But you don't look very sad to me. He also said you used to fix people!"

 

Stephen blinks a little and scratches his goatee.

 

"Seems about accurate. However little lady, I need to leave. So, have a nice chat with Happy here, I'm sure he'll enjoy it," Stephen says, deciding now was a good time to head out.

 

"Okay! Bye bye mister Strange!"

 

He stands up and huffs a little at his joints popping before waving goodbye and leaving.

 

**___**

 

Stephen snaps awake in a cold sweat, shivering all over and tears running down his face. "Fuck," He whispers, running his hands shaking across his face. He carefully climbs out of bed and walks to the bathroom, checking a clock on the way there.  _ 2 am.  _ Well, at least he got a couple of hours.

 

Once in front of the sink, he splashes water onto his face and sighs. His reflection stares back at him. This other man looks tired. And beyond done.

 

The rift is bigger. He shivers and heads back to bed, trying not to think about Tony.

 

He thinks about Tony.

 

He regrets his decision. God help him it's tearing him up inside. How can he go on like this? 

 

It does eventually get better, after months of ignoring and ignoring and ignoring. He eventually talks to Wong. It gets better.

 

But it's never perfect again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed my children.


End file.
